


The Secret of Magic

by LetoYukoNakahara



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Good morgana, M/M, Merthur - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-29 09:39:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12628164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetoYukoNakahara/pseuds/LetoYukoNakahara
Summary: In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy. But what if he didn't have to bear that burden alone? What if there was someone like him, to stand by his side from the very beginning? Her name, Morgana.





	1. The Beginning of the Legend

Chapter One  
The Beginning of the Legend

No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy that will in time, father the legend. His name...Merlin.

Morgana watched cautiously from her window as her guardian and king spoke. His words were practiced and had been spoken many a time and she cared little about them, focusing instead on the man restrained below. Magic was illegal, she knew that but somehow the punishment that awaited the man made her nauseous. She had never been comfortable with the idea of a death penalty and thought that in its own sense that would make the punisher as bad as the prisoner.

As the man was forced onto his knees Morgana looked down, the thought of actually watching the execution was intolerable but she almost felt just as bad ignoring it. then the axe came down and Morgana pulled away from the window, sickened by the noise as well as the deed that had just been performed. Eyes closed she drew in a deep breath, holding it until the anger subsided, though it had left a foul taste in her mouth.

“When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos. But with the people’s help, magic was driven from the land. So I declare a festival, to celebrate twenty years since the great dragon was captured, and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin!” Uther’s words made the anger rise back up her throat and made her clench her jaw tightly. Then from the crowd came a high keen and Morgana’s head whipped back around to locate the creator of such a pain filled sound. The wailing began again and Morgana could clearly see the woman as the crowds moved away from her. White haired and dressed in rags, the woman’s face was masked by grief and even from her window Morgana swore she could see the pain in her eyes.

“There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic!” the woman cried, her voice raw and emotional, “It is you! With your hatred, and your ignorance! You killed my son.” Then her voice dropped to a whisper and Morgana found herself unsettled by the old lady, “But I promise you, before these celebrations are over you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. A son for a son!” At that moment, Uther, who had been still until then, leapt forward and cried,

“Seize her!” Uther’s sharp words unfroze Morgana who had been enraptured by the woman’s speech. Before the guards could seize her, however, she began to mutter in a language Morgana did not understand. She then disappeared leaving behind a wind that pushed back the crowds around where she had stood. 

Blinking, Morgana closed her window and frowned, as much as the woman had deeply disturbed her, she felt some pity for the woman who had lost her son. Maybe there was some truth in her words.

Morgana had made up her mind some time that afternoon that she would in fact, refuse to celebrate the festival alongside the rest of Camelot. And so when she heard footsteps approaching that were clearly not those of her maidservant Gwen, she sighed.  
“Morgana.”  
“Yes?” she replied obediently,  
“What is it? Why are you not joining us at the feast?” Morgana felt her face twist into a look of disdain as she replied,  
“I just don’t think chopping someone’s head of is cause for celebration.” Uther looked away, “That poor mother…”  
“It was simple justice for what he’d done.”  
“To whom?” Morgana retorted, “He practiced magic, he didn’t hurt anyone!”  
“You were not around twenty years ago. You have no idea what it was like.” Uther’s voice was dangerously quiet but Morgana chose to ignore it.  
“How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?”  
“Until they realise there is no room for magic in my kingdom! You will be with me when I greet Lady Helen.” He said more calmly, Morgana fumed at the direct order as Uther began to walk away,  
“I told you I want no part in your -“  
“I am your guardian!” his voice was raised now and her had turned back to face her,  
“I expect you to do as I ask. If you won’t show me the respect, at least respect our finest singer.”  
With that he walked away again and Morgana could not help but call out one last warning,  
“You know the more brutal you are the more enemies you’ll create!” 

The next morning Morgana noticed that Gwen was standing idly at the window,  
“What’s the matter Gwen? Anything interesting happening?” she said peering out the window behind her maid,  
“Oh! My lady, you startled me. As it so happens, there is something happening.” Gwen gestured towards the scrawny youth being dragged away by the palace guards,  
“My goodness! What on earth could he have done?” Morgana gasped, surely a boy like that couldn’t need throwing into the dungeons? Then again, he could have been stealing, he had looked so awfully frail.  
“He stood up to Arthur.” Gwen sighed, “The prince was bullying his manservant and that boy through a punch at him. It was awfully brave.”  
“Brave or stupid?” Morgana wondered aloud, “I suppose it is nice to see someone stand up to Arthur for once. It’s intriguing…”

Merlin was unsure of what was happening. It was the second time that a voice had called out to him in his mind, echoing and emanating from deep below in the heart of Camelot. He was drawn to it as a moth was to a flame. And so it was without trouble that he navigated his way into the lowest bowels of Camelot, sneaking past the guards and following the voice that still whispered his name. There he came upon a cave. Filled with darkness, and an echoing voice that spoke only one word.  
Merlin…  
“Where are you?” he called out into the cave, his words clear and filled with more confidence than he felt. 

As soon as he said it a great gust of wind pushed at him and the sound of wings filled the air as a mighty dragon lowered itself onto an outcrop of rock, not too far from the cave entrance. Merlin could practically feel that magic radiating off of it. The strength of it cause Merlin to wonder how on earth he had managed to go this long without standing face to face with the beast.  
“I am here.” The dragon spoke, voice deep and wise. It looked at him, eyes piercing every layer of Merlin’s being, “How small you are, for such a great destiny.”  
“Why? What do you mean? What destiny?” Merlin breathed,  
“Your gift Merlin, was given to you for a reason,” the dragon’s words gave Merlin hope, more hope than he had felt in all his life, in all the years he had spent hiding his magic in Ealdor.  
“So there is a reason.” The dragon chuckled,  
“Arthur is the once and future king who will unite the land of Albion.”  
“Right…”  
“But he faces many threats. From friend and foe alike.”  
“I don’t see what this has to do with me.” Merlin blurted, his irritation at the royal prat obvious in his tone.  
“Everything. Without you Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion.”  
“No.” Merlin shook his head, “no, you’ve got this wrong,” the idea that it was his destiny to serve Arthur, the arrogant spoiled son of a… with his good looks and fortune and terrible attitude. It was too much for Merlin to bear.  
“There is no right or wrong!” the dragon said incredulously, “only what is, and what isn’t.”  
“No I’m serious! If anyone wants to go and kill him they can go ahead. In fact I’ll give them a hand.” Merlin exclaimed, but the dragon just laughed in a way that was almost a giggle.  
“None of us can choose our destiny Merlin. And none of us can escape it.”  
“No, no way. There must be another Arthur because this one’s an idiot.”  
“Perhaps it’s your destiny to change that.” And with those words the dragon spread its wings began to fly away. Leaving Merlin to call out for it to answer his questions.

By the time news of the scrawny boy reached her ears again, Morgana was already preoccupied with preparations for the banquet. She had long accepted that she could not avoid the duty and was deciding what to wear. Or more importantly, who would be taking her. As Gwen re-entered the room she began to speak,  
“You know, I’ve been thinking about Arthur. I wouldn’t touch him with a lance pole.” She chuckled, walking behind the screen, “Pass me that dress, will you Gwen? I mean, the man’s a total jouster. Just because I’m the king’s ward doesn’t mean I have to accompany him to the feast. Does it?”  
Gwen was quiet which was decidedly odd; she was use to her maid’s opinions. “Well does it?” she asked again, Gwen let out a sound which Morgana took as a no.  
“If he wants me to go then he should invite me. But he hasn’t, so do you know what that means?” Morgana asked, Gwen let out another noise, but further away, perhaps she was preoccupied? “Where are you?” She asked, looking over the top of the screen. Gwen was holding a dress up in the middle of the room, presumably folding it.r  
“Here.”  
“It means I’m going by myself. I need some help with this fastening?” she was concerned again when Gwen didn’t reply, “Gwen?”  
“I’m here.” Gwen called back, heading over and helping her with the fastening.  
“So, it’s whether I wear this little tease. Or give them a night they’ll really remember.” Gwen let out a chuckle.  
“Dresses aside my lady, I think you just scared poor Merlin half to death!”  
“Merlin?”  
“The boy I was telling you about earlier. I think he came in to give you your sleeping draught and you mistook him for me!” Morgana put her hands to cover her face,  
“Oh goodness! I should have known it wasn’t you! That explains a lot. It’s quite odd. Merlin keeps popping up… I wonder if I will see more of him…” 

As Uther welcomed the Lady Helen, Morgana sat in anticipation. She had to admit that hearing the most esteemed singer in the kingdom excited her greatly. And Lady Helen was certainly a vision to behold, standing tall at the top of the banquet hall. As Lady Helen began to sing Morgana found herself enchanted by the music. It was powerful and seemed to relax her completely…  
The next thing Morgana knew she was lifting her head off of the table. Quickly regaining her surroundings she saw the change in the room around her. Everything was covered in cobwebs and the chandelier which had one been hanging from the ceiling was now pressed on top of an old woman who was wearing Lady Helen’s dress. Morgana recognise the woman as the mother in the town square from days earlier. The woman who had been seemingly dead reared up suddenly and launched the knife she was holding at Arthur. 

Just as suddenly however, Merlin appeared Grabbing hold of Arthur and pulling him out the way. There was something wrong about that in Morgana’s eyes. Something very wrong indeed. She had seen where Merlin had been standing, there was no possible way he could have made it to Arthur or time. Still, she was grateful and she stared at the boy in wonder.  
“You saved my boy’s life.” Uther said, Morgana could tell he too was in shock, “a debt must be repaid.”  
“I… well -” Merlin stuttered,  
“No don’t be so modest, you must be rewarded.”  
“No honestly, you don’t have to your highness.”  
“No, absolutely! This merits something quite special.”  
“Well…”  
“You shall be awarded a position in the royal household. You shall be Prince Arthur’s manservant.”  
“Father!” Arthur cried, Morgana chuckled, what would normally be a great honour seemed to be displeasing to both Arthur and Merlin, though she felt more pity for Merlin in this case. Arthur went through his manservants quickly. Although, Morgana was beginning to see there was something quite special about Merlin. Perhaps, the combination of Arthur and Merlin could be the start of something…well, amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading.  
> This fic is also on ff.net and on my tumblr which is by the same username. Unfortunately I can't post this same messge over at ff.net because my brother follows that account and I don't want him to find out about this one.   
> Anyway, thanks for reading!
> 
> Leto


	2. The Mark of Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The water systems in Camelot have been poisoned by some evil. But there is a greater mystery that Morgana can't quite figure out. There's something odd about Arthur's new serving boy, something she had to discover.

Chapter Two  
The Mark of Magic

Ironically, it was a beautiful day when disaster struck Camelot. The sun was shining and Gwen entered Morgana’s chambers with a smile on her face and flowers in her hand.  
“You look happy.” Morgana noted with a smile.  
“I picked these for you,” Gwen said, holding the flowers out,  
“That’s so sweet!” Morgana couldn’t have asked for a better maidservant than Gwen, she was sweet, loyal and kind.  
“Something to cheer you up. I know you haven’t been sleeping well.”  
“Aww, you cheer me up.” Morgana said, almost overwhelmed by the generosity of her friend.  
“Would you like me to put them in water for you?” Gwen asked, taking the flowers without waiting for an answer. There really was no doubt in Morgana’s mind that Gwen was as pure as they come.

Morgana looked out upon the courtyard, the bell tolling ominously. Over a dozen bodies were laid out now, each the victim of the plague sweeping Camelot. There was speak of sorcery involved and everyone in the castle had devolved into frenzy. Arthur and his men were searching the town for the sign of a sorcerer. Even Merlin had left Arthur’s side to help Gaius find a cure for the ailment. Morgana clenched her fists, she felt useless, despite being the king’s ward she hadn’t even been allowed to see the bodies as the king clearly thought she was too delicate and would be disturbed by the sight. If only she could do something!

When Gwen was late, Morgana feared the worst. What if Gwen was ill? Or worse, dead. Morgana couldn’t bear that thought. She had to distract herself somehow. With her stomach heavy Morgana began to dress herself slowly, avoiding any thoughts that reared up in her mind. It was possible that Gwen was just late, she’d be there soon. Morgana was sure of it. Then the door opened and Morgana smiled in relief.  
“Gwen! I…” she was stopped dead in her tracks by Gwen’s tear stained face, “What’s happened?”  
“I’m sorry my lady, I didn’t mean to be late.” Gwen didn’t reply immediately, which only made Morgana more worried.  
“Nonsense, tell me what’s wrong Gwen.”  
“My father…” Gwen choked, unable to speak, “Morgana, my father is ill!” Gwen burst into tears and Morgana swept over and gathered her up into a hug. This was cruel beyond words, that Gwen should face losing her father… Morgana understood that pain.  
“I should visit Gaius, I’m sure he can do something.” Morgana tried to move but Gwen only clung on tighter.  
“It’s no use my lady, I’ve already been to see Gaius. He doesn’t have a cure. There is nothing to be done!” Gwen cried, getting more hysterical by the moment. Morgana hushed her gently stroking her hair.  
“It’s nonsensical for you to be here right now, go and look after your father.”  
“But-”  
“Go!” Morgana begged, she would take care of herself. Besides, she had already decided she would lend Gaius her services for the day, and she didn’t need a maid for that.

Merlin couldn’t sleep. Gwen was his friend and seeing her in tears like that was enough for him to make his decision. Gaius would not find a cure in time to heal Tom, so Merlin had to do it. He was aware that he could get caught out after curfew, or worse, caught doing magic. But he had to take the risk. He hadn’t been able to save the man in the street, however, there was still time to save Gwen’s father.

Moving cautiously, Merlin passed through the streets, avoiding guards and hiding in shadows. His goal solely to reach Gwen’s house. Upon arriving, he peered through the shutters to see Gwen sleeping at the side of her father’s bed and Tom the blacksmith turning fitfully in his sleep. Merlin opened the door, wincing as it squeaked on its hinges. He slipped the poultice under Tom’s pillow and whispered the spell he had memorized minutes before. Slipping out, he watched as Tom awoke and was reunited with his daughter. Merlin’s victory however, would be short lived.

Morgana walked into the sight of Gwen being pulled away by the palace guards, flowers were strewn across the floor and Arthur stood with a blank expression,  
“Gwen?” Morgana looked back and forth between her servant and the prince,  
“What have I done? I haven’t done anything!” Gwen cried, clearly distressed, Morgana was livid.  
“What are you doing?” she turned to Arthur,  
“We found a magic poultice in her house.” He said, voice factual and cold,  
“That’s ridiculous!” Morgana spat,  
“How else do you explain her father’s recovery?”  
“She’s innocent.” Morgana said matter of factly, “I know she’s innocent.”  
“What can I do? I can’t turn a blind eye.”  
Morgana was left speechless in her chambers. How could anyone accuse Gwen of such a thing? Morgana would know if Gwen had magic. There was no way you could be the personal servant to part of the royal household and not be discovered! Gwen was innocent and Morgana had to prove it.

Morgana followed behind Gwen from a distance. It was difficult to keep her temper in check but she knew she would have to confront the king, and for that she needed a level head. As she reached the great hall she could hear Gwen’s cries of fear.  
“He got better, he just recovered. I didn’t do anything!”  
“I believe you. Perhaps this is a disease which is not always fatal. Have you thought of that?” she took a risk in defying Uther, but took it gladly to defend Gwen. “Perhaps he recovered naturally.”  
“What of this poultice that was found?” the king asked, surprisingly calm.  
“What poultice? I don’t know anything about a poultice.” Gwen pleaded.  
“It was found in your house.” Uther stood, “Undo this enchantment, end this contagion.” It was and order, and one Morgana knew that Gwen could not fulfil.  
“I can’t.” she shook her head  
“I will show you no mercy.”  
“I am not a witch! I don’t know how to stop the illness!” Morgana looked at the king in contempt,  
“If you will not undo your sorcery, you force my hand and I must find you guilty.”  
“But I don’t know-” the king cut her off,  
“It is therefore my duty to pass judgement. And under the circumstance I have no choice. I have to sentence you to death.” Morgana was surprised to hear almost sadness in the king's voice  
“No…” Gwen whispered weakly,  
“I can only hope this evil plague dies with you.”

Gwen cried as she was dragged out the room, pleas on her lips. Morgana was speechless. She turned to the king,  
“I know Gwen. She’s my maidservant not an enchantress!” she realised how weak she sounded, her argument was not convincing.  
“Have you ever seen an enchantress?” the king looked at her coldly, “Believe me, they bear no sign. No mark. There is no sense of evil in the eye.”  
“I’ve seen the way the girl works. Her fingers are warm, her nails are broken. If she was a sorceress why would she do this?” Morgana had found a hold to her argument and she was not going to let go. “Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning? When she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers.” Morgana’s patience began to wear as Uther ignored her words, “Like an idle king.”  
“You have no right.” Uther hissed,  
“You have a right to cast judgement on these things!” she cried.  
“I have a responsibility to take care of this kingdom!” he said firmly, “I take no pleasure in this.” Morgana had little left to say.  
“But you’re sentencing the wrong person…” her voice was quieter; losing its conviction.

“She’s right father. You hear the word magic and you no longer listen.” Arthur stepped forward and gave Morgana another spell of hope.  
“You saw it for yourself. She used enchantments.”  
“Yes! Maybe, but to save her dying father. That doesn’t make her guilty of creating a plague.” The sense in Arthur’s words fell on deaf ears, “One’s the act of kindness, of love. The other of evil, I don’t believe evil’s in this girl’s heart.”  
“I have witnessed what witchcraft can do.” Uther said solemnly, “I have suffered at its hand. I cannot take that chance. If there is even the slight doubt about this girl she must die or the whole kingdom may perish!”  
“I understand that.” But Arthur was silenced by the look on the king’s face,  
“One day you may be king. Then you may understand. Such decisions must be made. There are dark forces that threaten this kingdom.”  
“I know witchcraft is an evil father. So is injustice.” He persisted, “Yes I am yet to be king and I don’t know what kind of king I will be. But, I do have a sense of the kind of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime.” He said, and at that Uther looked up.  
“I fear you’re right. She’s played with fire, and sadly she must die by fire.” With fear in her heart Morgana left, fighting the king was useless. She had to find another way.

Morgana was desperate when she went to Gaius, pupils dilated, heart beating fast and pace quickening each second she burst into his chambers.  
“They’re bringing forward the execution. We have to prove Gwen’s innocence.” It was a statement, not a request.  
“We tried.” Gaius said forlornly,  
“Please, just tell me what I can do to help,” Morgana begged.  
“We need Arthur.” Merlin spoke up, requesting the last person she expected to hear,  
“Arthur?”  
“There’s a monster, an Afanc in the water supply. That’s what’s causing the plague.”  
“Well, we must tell Uther.” Morgana replied, still unsure of whether Arthur was really needed. Merlin just shook his head,  
“The Afanc is a creature forged by magic. Telling Uther wouldn’t save Gwen, he’d just blame her for conjuring it.” Gaius interjected. Morgana nodded in agreement, his words rang true.  
“So what are we to do?”  
“We need to destroy it, then the plague with stop and Uther, may see sense.” Morgana was surprised by the assertion in Merlin’s voice. He knew what he was talking about. But she continued regardless,  
“And that’s why you need Arthur?”  
“He’s our best chance. But he won’t want to disobey the king…” Merlin had a point.  
“Leave that to me.”

It didn’t take long for Morgana to convince Arthur; soon the three of them were marching across the courtyard and down to the water supply.  
“You better be right about this Merlin.” Arthur said clearly irritated, but soon after a growl echoed from the dark. Unlike anything Morgana had heard before. She gasped in shock. Arthur looked back at her,  
“You should stay here.”  
“I’m coming with you.” She said unable to keep some of the fear from her voice,  
“No.” Arthur replied and Morgana cocked her head to the side,  
“Scared I’ll show you up?” the convincing her bravado was fake.  
“Father would slam us both in chains if he knew I’d endangered you!”  
“Good thing he doesn’t know about it then,” she said calmly, she was not about to back down anytime soon.  
“I’m telling you Morgana, turn back. You could get hurt.” Morgana pursed her lips and sighed, “So could you. If you don’t get out of my way.” She teased, walking on ahead.

“How are we going to find it?” Morgana queried as they walked,  
“Just hope we do, before it finds us.” Merlin whispered eerily,  
“Stop.” Arthur turned suddenly,  
“What?” Merlin asked as Arthur studied the dark for a moment before turning back,  
“It’s just a shadow.”

At the source of the water all three had split in separate directions, searching for the beast, when Morgana heard a roar however, she came rushing back to Arthur.  
“What is it? Are you alright?” she gasped, then Merlin arrived  
“Did you see it?”  
“Yes.”  
“What did it look like?”  
“It’s quick.” Arthur hissed.  
Morgana could have answered that question herself because at that moment the Afanc reared out of nowhere in front of her. She let out a startled scream and moved back behind Arthur. By the time she was there, the creature was gone again.  
“Where is it?” Arthur said, teeth clenched.  
“I think it’s gone this way!” Merlin called, moving in the opposite direction, how was it so fast?

They came round a corner and finally the beast revealed itself in all its disgusting glory. It moved towards them like a cat hunting its prey. Arthur swung at it but it moved easily, it turned on Morgana and she tried thrusting her torch at it but in terror she dropped it. Arthur lunged in and pushed the monster back pulling its attention away from Morgana.  
“Arthur use the torch!” Merlin called and Morgana turned to him. Then she saw it, the flash of gold in his eyes, the words she didn’t understand and an almighty wind that swept along the tunnel blowing the fire of Arthur’s torch straight upon the Afank. That was magic. Merlin had magic. Without a second to process it Morgana cowered as the beast burst into flames.

Morgana still had Merlin in her mind when she went to have Gwen released, she was beaming of course at the sight of her maid happy and reunited with her father.  
“Thank you!” Gwen cried, reaching out to her.  
“Don’t thank me! It was more Merlin” she said, her words holding a truth she could possibly never share.  
“Really?” Gwen asked,  
“He’s the real hero here.” Morgana supplied,  
“I don’t know what to say.” Gwen was clearly flustered, bless her heart.  
“I didn’t do anything.” Merlin said modestly, and Morgana wondered how many times he’d said that before now.  
“I’m grateful to you all.” Tom said, “Come on Gwen.”  
“Merlin? I wanted you to know. You’re secret’s safe with me.” So this was it, she was really going to tell him that she knew.  
“My secret?”  
“Merlin, don’t pretend. I know what you did.”  
“You do.”  
“I saw it with my own eyes.”  
“You did?” the poor boy seemed shocked,  
“I understand why you don’t want anyone to know.” Morgana said, the idea of someone finding out, of someone hurting Merlin who was clearly so good, it made her shiver.  
“Well obviously…”  
“I won’t tell anyone. You…don’t mind me talking to you about it?” she asked cautiously, aware that probably everything she was saying could get either of them killed.  
“I – uh no. You have no idea how hard it is to keep this hidden!” the relief on Merlin’s face sent a pang through Morgana’s heart. How alone he must be.  
“I imagine you’ve had a greater part in events than anyone knows. It was really brave what you did today. But you don’t have to bear it alone. It’s our secret.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to anyone who's read this so far! I want to give a thanks to my beta, theodduckling who encouraged me to finally start writing this after about a year thinking about it.


	3. The Poisoned Chalice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Merlin drinks poison to save Arthur, he falls into a fatal coma. Can Arthur get the antidote in time? And can Morgana keep Merlin's secret when she's worrying after his life?

Lord Bayard of Mercia and his people were riding to Camelot, the contrast between Bayard’s blue clad knights and Camelot’s deep red was striking, and no one could doubt that they had once been enemies. Morgana however, had very little interest in the diplomatic show of masculinity that was occurring in the hall. She was still elated by learning Merlin’s secret.

Of course she understood that it was dangerous and stupidly depressing as well, to see someone so good and honest have to hide himself away but there was also a thrill, a rush of adrenaline that came from standing in front of Uther and knowing something he could never hope to understand. Morgana’s racing mind was not helped by the fact she was yet to get Merlin alone long enough to ask him all the questions that were constantly plaguing her. It was not easy, afterall, for a servant and courtier to meet without suspicion arising.

Merlin was annoyed, more embarrassed if he was being honest. Arthur had made him wear this stupid outfit, and what was worse the prat kept looking back at him and smirking! Morgana too, kept chuckling silently whenever they caught each other’s eye. He scowled playfully. It was a nice change to the atmosphere of the quiet hall, it was the kind of quiet respect that could be found in libraries only there was a hint more tension in the air. 

Merlin watched calmly as the treaty was signed and smiled to himself, Camelot and Mercia forming an alliance was surely a good thing. If it was Arthur’s destiny to unite the land of Albion, having another friend in the land was definitely useful. 

As Bayard presented two goblets two Uther and his son, Merlin was greeted by the face of the Mercian handmaiden, Kara,  
“Merlin, I need to speak to you,”  
“What is it?” Merlin whispered, concerned by Kara’s fearful expression.  
“Not here please. I don’t know who else to tell.” Merlin followed her out of the room as she paced quickly away, both wary and curious about what she had to tell him.

“It wasn’t until I saw him give the goblet to Arthur that I realised.” she rushed, Merlin put up a hand to calm her,  
“Slow down, start from the beginning.”  
“Two days ago I was bringing Bayard his evening meal. We’re supposed to knock, he didn’t expect me to walk in -”  
“So what are you trying to say?” Merlin asked somewhat impatiently, he’d already heard the word Arthur and if he was along the right lines, his prince could be dying as they spoke.  
“If he knows I said anything he will kill me.”  
“I won’t let that happen to you, I promise! Please tell me what you saw.”  
“Bayard is no friend of Camelot. He craves the kingdom for himself.”  
“Kara, tell me, what has Bayard done with the goblet?”   
“He believes that if he kills Arthur, Uther’s spirit will be broken and Camelot will fall!”  
“What has he done to the goblet?” Merlin repeated, the news of someone wishing to kill Arthur was not new, but how they were doing it, that mattered greatly.  
“I saw him putting something in it.”  
“What?”  
“I shouldn’t, he’ll kill me!”  
“Tell me?” Merlin looked at the frightened girl, “was it poison?” Kara nodded, that was enough for Merlin.

“Stop!” Merlin called, and Morgana froze where she stood, “It’s poisoned! Don’t drink it!” Morgana watched as Merlin took the goblet from Arthur’s hand. Morgana clenched a fist under the table in fear. She trusted Merlin, but not her king.   
“What?” Uther looked at the boy incredulously,  
“Merlin, what are you doing?” Arthur said condescendingly, Morgana glowered at him, after all this did he really not trust Merlin’s word?  
“Bayard laced Arthur’s goblet, with poison!” Merlin declared,   
“This is an outrage!” Bayard cried and Morgana jumped in her seat as the whole room drew their swords, she sighed internally, could men find no other way of resolving a conflict?

“Order your men to put down their swords,” Uther said in a strangely relaxed tone, “You are outnumbered.” Bayard shifted nervously, but there was anger in his eyes,  
“I will not allow this insult to go unchallenged!”   
“On what claim, do you base this accusation?” Uther asked, still calm. Too calm.  
“I’ll handle this!” Arthur said, striding around the table, “Merlin, you idiot. Been at the sloe gin again?” Morgana winced at Arthur’s brutish method, but despite his harsh words it was easy to see that Arthur cared as he glanced over his shoulder, pulling Merlin away from Bayard.  
“Unless you want to be strung up. Tell me why you think it’s poisoned.” Uther was leering at Merlin now,  
“He was seen lacing it.”  
“By whom?” Merlin looked around furtively,  
“I cannot say.” Morgana sighed, he was protecting someone. Of course he was, but doing that was putting him at risk.

“I won’t listen to this anymore! Bayard interjected,  
“Pass me the goblet.” Uther commanded, “If you’re telling the truth…”  
“I am.”  
“Then you have nothing to fear, do you?” At this Bayard sheathed his sword and held his hand out for the cup. Morgana entertained the idea that this would resolve itself without Merlin getting hurt.   
“No,” Uther said, dashing her hopes, “If this does prove to be poison, I want the pleasure of killing you myself.” Uther turned to Merlin, “He’ll drink it.”

Morgana felt fear flood her and she spoke without thinking,  
“Uther, you can’t!” her words, though they got her a few furtive looks were masked by Arthur’s own protest,  
“But if it is poisoned he’ll die!” Uther looked at him coldly,  
“Then we’ll know he was telling the truth.” Morgana felt something akin to rage rise in her, Merlin would risk his life for Arthur, and Uther would have him rewarded with death.  
“And what if he lives?” Bayard too, seemed unconcerned by what may become cold blooded murder.   
“Then you have my apologies, and you can do with him as you will.”   
“Uther please, he’s just a boy. He doesn’t know what he’s saying!” Morgana watched as Gaius joined the fight to save Merlin’s life.  
“Then you should have schooled him better.” Morgana looked at her guardian in disgust.  
“My king, if what Merlin says is true, he will have saved Arthur’s life! How is death the answer?”  
“Quiet Morgana!” Uther snapped, “this is no matter for a lady.”  
“Merlin, apologise. This is a mistake! I’ll drink it!” Morgana could hear the fear in Arthur’s voice. He was panicking, and Arthur had never been one for diplomacy. He reached for the cup,  
“No, no, no no.” Merlin’s words gushed, “It’s alright. 

Merlin held out the goblet and nodded at Bayard, then he turned and met eyes with Morgana. Suddenly she felt the weight of his destiny for the first time, with that look she saw his determination and loyalty to his prince, she saw how much he would give up to protect Arthur and saw the request in his eyes. Merlin expected to die, and he wanted Morgana to take his place. 

Morgana watched as Merlin swallowed the liquid, and noticed how badly he was shaking. He was afraid, so afraid. There was a moment of silence as Merlin looked back at Bayard,  
“It’s fine.” he said and the court seemed to relax, but Morgana did not take her eyes off of him. Merlin hadn’t been wrong yet, and even though she’d rather be wrong…

Merlin grunted putting a hand up to his chin and then to his throat. Morgana watched in horror as Merlin started to choke. He fell to the floor, the cup that had poisoned him rolling out of his grasp. Morgana rushed to his side, Arthur, Gaius and Gwen with her.  
“Merlin? Can you hear me?” Gaius tested, Morgana swallowed something rising in her throat, “We have to get him back to my chambers. Bring the goblet, we need to identify the poison.” 

Following behind as Arthur carried Merlin and Gwen carried the goblet, Morgana had never felt so useless.

“Put his on the bed quickly, he’s struggling to breath.” They laid him down and Morgana rushed to kneel beside him. “Gwen fetch me some water and a towel.”  
“Is he going to be alright?” Arthur asked, which really was a stupid question, Morgana thought as she watched Merlin gasping, as pale as death on the bed.  
“He’s burning up…”  
“You can cure him can’t you Gaius?” Gwen asked, voicing the hope Morgana didn’t dare to.   
“I don’t know until I can identify the poison. Pass me the goblet.” He said placing a wet cloth on Merlin’s forehead at the same time.

As Gaius examined it his face was one of concentrated wisdom,  
“Ah, something’s stuck on the inside.” Arthur moved himself to stand from where he had been kneeling by Merlin, but Morgana couldn’t have even if she’d had the strength.   
“What is it?” Arthur asked,  
“Looks like a flower petal of some kind.” Gaius said, but Morgana couldn’t seem to look away from Merlin,  
“His brow’s on fire.” Gwen noted as she pressed on the cloth, Morgana hadn’t even noticed Gwen joining her.   
“Keep him cool, it will help control his fever.” 

Gwen and Morgana busied themselves with tending to Merlin. Morgana considered taking a layer of clothing off of him but was afraid of jostling him. Morgana looked up to see Arthur studying Merlin with more emotion in his expression than she had seen for a long time,  
“Sounds like fun.”  
“Arthur it’s too dangerous.”  
“If I don’t get the antidote what happens to Merlin?” it was not a question that really needed answering. They all knew,  
“The morteus induces a slow and painful death, he may hold out for four, maybe five days but not much longer. Eventually he will die.” Gaius said solemnly, Arthur didn’t say anything more. Morgana watched as he strode out. She could only hope that he didn’t go to Uther first. 

“My lady, what are you doing here?” it seemed Gaius had only just slowed down enough to notice her.  
“I’m here for Merlin.” she tried to be as assertive as possible.  
“I’m afraid there’s not much you can do Morgana, perhaps it would be better for you to retire and let Gwen tend to him.”  
“I am perfectly able to help when my friend is in need Gaius. I won’t leave him.” Morgana warned, Gaius raised an eyebrow quizzically and Morgana wondered if she’d revealed too much. It was uncommon for the king’s ward to have befriended a serving boy.   
“It’s just...I know how much he’s done...This would be, at least the fourth time he’s saved Arthur I’m sure. I won’t be any use to anyone sitting in my chambers like some dainty princess.” 

Morgana had assumed Arthur had left until he came back.  
“Father won’t let me go.” he said in a mixture of defeat and despair. Morgana stood up,  
“What do you mean? Why does it matter?”  
“Because he’s the king Morgana!”  
“Sometimes you have to do what is right and damn the consequences.” she looked Arthur in the eye and challenged him with all she had,  
“You think I should go.”  
“It doesn’t matter what I think.” except it does.   
“If I don’t make it back, who will be the next king of Camelot?” Morgana felt rage inside her, “There’s more than just my life at stake.” So he was choosing duty over friendship. It was such a Pendragon thing to do.  
“And what kind of King would Camelot want? One that would risk his life for that of a lowly servant? Or one who does what his father tells him to?” Morgana had worked so hard to pull that together, all she had wanted to do was scream at him for being a coward, for not protecting his friend without hesitation. But then Arthur didn’t understand how important Merlin was. Not yet anyway.

Morgana was still beside Merlin’s bed when morning came, it was the least comfortable she had felt in years but if she couldn’t do anything else she had to tend to Merlin.   
“Morgana,” Gaius approached her, both he and Gwen had been wary since Morgana’s speech last night, “perhaps you should retire and get some rest.”  
“I shall do nothing of the sort! You know as well as I do that if any of us was in his position Merlin would stay. It’s the least I can do.”  
“But if Uther finds out you’ve been tending to a serving boy-”  
“I just told Arthur to damn the consequences of risking his life.” she punctuated the words, “Do you really think I care what Uther thinks at the moment?”

“He’s getting warmer,” Gwen noted. As she spoke, Merlin began to mutter in a language Morgana did not understand. But at the same, she knew exactly what it was.  
“What language is that?” Gwen asked, hands wringing at the cloth,  
“None, the fever’s taken hold,” Gaius was hesitant with his words, “None of those words are his own.”  
Liar, thought Morgana, but the word held no malice. She wondered how many times Gaius had lied to save Merlin’s neck.  
“His pulse is weaker…” Gaius shifted back on his heals and sighed, but then shifted forward and pulled up Merlin’s sleeve. A red rash the formed a circle had appeared on his arm, almost reminiscent of a bite mark.  
“What is it?”  
“That can’t be right… the rash is not supposed to appear until the final stage.” Gaius explained,  
“What?” Morgana whispered at the same time as Gwen spoke,  
“What does that mean?” Gwen and Gaius got up together, leaving Morgana to tend to Merlin. She listened, hand on Merlin’s brow.

“It says here once a rash appears death will follow within two days.”  
“You said he had four days,” Gwen accused,  
“Something has increased the flower’s potency.”  
“Isn’t there any way to slow it down?” Morgana asked, she could almost see the see the steam rising off of Merlin. Gaius looked at her,  
“I’m afraid not. If I’m correct…” he flicked through a few pages, “Yes, unfortunately, it warns that the effect of the Morteus will be more rapid if an enchantment is used during the flower’s preparation.”  
“An enchantment? But Bayard’s no sorcerer.”  
“No he isn’t.” Gaius pondered,  
“Then who did this?” Gwen asked,  
“It can’t have been. She wouldn’t dare come here.” Gaius spoke as if only he was in the room, “Unless,”  
“Unless what?” Gwen said, but Morgana wanted to know who “she” was.  
“What happened to that girl?”  
“Which girl?  
“Just before Merlin burst into the hall, one of Bayard’s serving girls took him outside.” Gwen nodded,  
“She had dark hair...very beautiful.”   
“Find her, quickly.” Gaius commanded, stirring Gwen into action.

Merlin was still muttering magic, and Gaius came to sit at his side,   
“Who is she?” Morgana finally asked,  
“An old enemy of Uther’s, a powerful one.” he looked at her, eyes cold but still filled with worry. Morgana let her fingers trail in the bucket of water at her side,  
“The water’s warm, I’ll fetch some more.”

Morgana was in her room when Uther barged in and started pacing, she had returned to her chambers briefly to get a change of clothes and perhaps brush her hair and wash, but it seemed that she wouldn’t have time for that after all.  
“You look dishevelled Morgana, are you, perhaps, worried about Arthur?”  
“Perhaps, my lord, but I am not sure worried is the right word,” Uther stopped in his stead,  
“I expressly ordered Arthur not to go!” Uther was angry, it was something Morgana had seen before and would likely see again,  
“I can see it worked like a charm too.” she quipped,   
“Not another word,” Uther warned pointing at her.  
“My lips are sealed,” she said, a smirk playing at her lips,  
“I should have put him under lock and key,”  
“You can’t chain him up every time he disagrees with you.” Morgana reasoned, defending the prince who was risking everything to save Merlin.  
“Just you watch me. I will not be disobeyed, especially by my own son.” Uther’s tone hinted at how close he was to breaking point, Morgana backed down.  
“No, of course you won’t.” Morgana sat at her desk and began scribbling on the document in front of her, she had no idea what it was. It had been sitting there for over a day now.

“You knew about this, didn’t you?” The king asked quietly, “Morgana...don’t lie to me.”  
“Arthur’s old enough to make decisions for himself,” Morgana admitted,   
“He;s just a boy.”  
“Have you seen your son recently?” Morgana asked, incredulous. “You have to let him make his own mind up,  
“Even if it means letting him go to his death?” 

Morgana returned after Gwen to Gaius’s chambers; her confrontation with Uther had taken too long,  
“Arthur will be walking into a trap.” Gaius said as she stepped into the room,  
“Arthur will be what?” she exclaimed,  
“Gaius said the women Merlin spoke to is a powerful sorceress who knows where Arthur will go. Where have you been?”  
“I ran into Uther while fetching water, it’s not important. Will Arthur-”  
“Ar-thur...Arthur.” Merlin breathed and Morgana moved to his side. Was this what it was like? To have a destiny, to worry about someone even when dying. Even if it was, it seemed that Merlin cared for Arthur an awful lot.

Morgana watched silently through a crack in the door, Gaius had sent her and Gwen to get supplies some few minutes ago, but she had guessed it was just a pretence to protect Merlin, who had been muttering spells and things about Arthur more and more frequently. Now the whole chamber seemed to be flooded with blue light, emanating from the bed. Morgana gasped quietly, Merlin was using magic in his sleep and Morgana could only hope that in some way it was helping Arthur. 

Morgana was one of the first to know when Arthur returned to Camelot, and she watched as Uther fulfilled his promise of having him locked up. The king had put Arthur in a cell. She had taken it upon herself to find out if Arthur was successful,

“Let me go and see him.” she pleaded with Uther, “Perhaps I can put some sense into him.”  
“You encouraged him in the first place!” Uther cried,  
“I did nothing of the sort my lord. As I told you before, Arthur acted on his own terms.”  
“I cannot trust your word Morgana. You are far too spirited. And I know you care for the boy. I saw you at the banquet.” Morgana suppressed a snarl,  
“It is true that Merlin was a good man, but he is as good as dead sire. There is no hope for him. But there is for Arthur.”  
“A week in a cell will do that for him.” Uther said indignantly.  
“I’m afraid your methods can be… too harsh, my lord, perhaps Arthur needs a woman’s coaxing to convince him.” Uther looked at her, she could see his resolve slipping.  
“Very well, what harm can it do?”

On her way back to Gaius’s chambers, Morgana ran head first into Gwen,  
“My lady!”  
“Gwen, where are you going?” she queried,  
“I’m going to sneak into to the dungeon to see Arthur.”  
“No need,” Morgana grinned, holding up the flower, “I’ve got it.” Gwen’s face flushed with relief and she grabbed hold of Morgana and hugged her,  
“How did you manage it?” she asked  
“There’s no time! We have to get to Gaius. Now!”

“You were quick,” Gaius noted as they walked in,   
“Morgana went and convinced Uther to let her see Arthur!” Gwen babbled excitedly,   
“You have the Morteus?” Gaius asked and Morgana handed it to him proudly, “His fever’s much worse, we have to hurry.” Gaius rushed to his station and Morgana rushed to Merlin’s side. Gaius was right, Merlin’s skin was blazing like a furnace. Then the noises stopped, Morgana turned to see Gaius standing completely still,  
“Why have you stopped?”  
“This poison was created using magic, we may need magic to make an antidote.” Gaius said and fear struck Morgana. Merlin was the one with magic, none of the rest of them did.   
“But we can’t! It’s forbidden. Even if we could…” Gwen expressed, openly concerned.  
“I’ll try and make it work without.” Gaius assured her, but Morgana had a sinking feeling that it couldn’t work without. “Oh, I need some fresh water.” he handed the jug to Gwen and she rushed out. But then he turned to Morgana, and that look, that calculating look as he searched for a way to get rid of her sparked hope in her heart. Gaius was going to use magic.

“I should go and see Uther about how visiting Arthur went,” she said slowly, “I don’t want him to get suspicious.” she could have told Gaius that she knew, but she hadn’t discussed with Merlin whether they wanted Gaius to know. She got up and quickly backed out of the room. Unlike before she did stand with her face pressed to the door, Gwen would be back soon and it was something she did not want her maid to see.

Morgana came back a few minutes later and stood in the open doorway, Merlin was slightly lifted from the bed and he was smiling, smiling and telling some sort of ridiculous joke. As Morgana smiled Gwen swooped in and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s lips. Morgana chuckled at his expression. Then Gwen, bless her muttered some sort of apology. The room seemed to glow with relief and happiness, and yet, Morgana found herself unable to enter. She didn’t belong there, not yet. If ever. And then Merlin caught her eye. He grinned and the warmth seemed to seep out of the room and wash over her and the doorway as well. Merlin was just that sort of person. The best friend anyone could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really grateful for how this fic has gone down so far! Thanks you guys. I'm so sorry I can't promise regular updates cause I'm juggling a few things at the moment. There are still a few bits I haven't figured out with this fic. So let me know if you have any ideas!


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